PSA: DO NOT DO THE LAST GTA V TRIATHLON

"pjhusa" (pjhuskinja) 08/19/2015 at 12:59 • Filed to: GTA V

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PSA: DO NOT DO THE 3rd GTA V TRIATHLON (The Coyote Cross Country Triathlon) unless:

A) You want 100% completion.

B) You are extremely bored.

C) You want to commit suicide (joking here).

D) You want to break your controller.

Reason being that I decided to finish the 3rd GTA V triathlon this morning - I did not know that what would come would be outrageously hellish. At the end, I was sweating, and my hands still hurt!

I started the freaking thing, and it took me 30 minutes to finish.

30 minutes pressing the freaking A button - I thought I’d break it.

30 minutes - of irritation and being pissed off.

30 minutes - of wondering HOW MUCH LONGER IT WOULD TAKE!

30 minutes - that’s 10 ingame hours!

You’ve been warned.

According to GTA Wiki:

“The Coyote Cross Country Triathlon is located on the south beach of the !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! at !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! in !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! . This triathlon will last approximately 30 minutes and is unlocked after the completion of The Alamo Sea Triathlon. 100% player stamina is advised before entering this triathlon (this goes for the person holding the controller, too, as they will spend 30 minutes repeatedly pressing the buttons - This does not apply to the PS4 or Xbox One version since the player can enter first person mode and simply hold down the X or A button for the running/swimming parts only).”

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > pjhusa 08/19/2015 at 13:01

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Your warning comes about six months too late for me. FUCKING ROCKSTAR

CCC (formerly CyclistCarCoexist) > pjhusa 08/19/2015 at 13:02

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You need to build an mechanical servo actuated arm to repeatedly press the A button.

pjhusa > CCC (formerly CyclistCarCoexist) 08/19/2015 at 13:06

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I don’t have the mechanical knowledge, the tools, or the materials to build one.

pjhusa > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 08/19/2015 at 13:06

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I know, right? I get realism and all... but that just took it waaaaaaayyyyyyyyy too far.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > pjhusa 08/19/2015 at 13:08

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I only took 28 minutes, but who’s counting? *eye twitches*

djmt1 > pjhusa 08/19/2015 at 13:08

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I did it on 360 and as a result it is the only thing left to do on the One for me in single player. Maybe one day but not any day soon.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > pjhusa 08/19/2015 at 13:09

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I have completed it, and then deleted the file on accidnet.

Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) > pjhusa 08/19/2015 at 13:09

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Well at least it adds some virtual reality to the game. I am sure it would be tiring as hell to do a triathalon. Gotta make it tiring IRL too!

pjhusa > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 08/19/2015 at 13:10

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Ouchhh.. that sucks!

pjhusa > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 08/19/2015 at 13:10

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28 minutes and 50 seconds for me.

Again, my hand STILL hurts.

pjhusa > Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) 08/19/2015 at 13:10

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yay Rockstar!

pjhusa > djmt1 08/19/2015 at 13:11

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Hahaha. I did it on the One, but had no idea about the first person trick.

CCC (formerly CyclistCarCoexist) > pjhusa 08/19/2015 at 13:13

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“Or make a pay someone on CL to do it

pjhusa > CCC (formerly CyclistCarCoexist) 08/19/2015 at 13:14

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Yeah... naw

Tareim - V8 powered > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 08/19/2015 at 13:19

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yeah who’s really keeping score?

My citroen won't start > pjhusa 08/19/2015 at 13:22

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It sounds like you have never done a Gran Turismo Endurance Race...

pjhusa > My citroen won't start 08/19/2015 at 13:22

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I have Xbox... so nope.

BUT THIS IS A FREAKING TRIATHLON!

pjhusa > Tareim - V8 powered 08/19/2015 at 13:23

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*twitch*

deekster_caddy > pjhusa 08/19/2015 at 13:23

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Many moons ago, we used to play “Decathalon” on the Atari 400. The final race was similar to this - about 20-30 minutes of moving the joystick L-R-L-R-L-R-L-R (that’s how you run). My friend built his own controller and added a button to facilitate reversing the L-R wire pinout on the controller, so you could just tap the button instead of moving the joystick. The killer was the ‘sprint’ at the end, where you had to literally whip the controller side to side to beat the other runners.

It was very difficult!

pjhusa > deekster_caddy 08/19/2015 at 13:24

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Okay... that’s worse.

chaozbandit > pjhusa 08/19/2015 at 13:24

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So I presume you were browsing instagram while doing this? :P

pjhusa > chaozbandit 08/19/2015 at 13:26

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Nah, that was earlier.

PushToStart > pjhusa 08/19/2015 at 13:40

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If you loved that, then you’ll also love Michael’s ridiculous Epsilon church mission where you have to walk 5 miles in the desert, that shit was annoying too.

pjhusa > PushToStart 08/19/2015 at 13:52

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Oh. That sucks.

I finished story mode earlier this year, so I played FH2 instead. Recently, I came back to GTA to play Strangers and Freaks, do some activities (like a triathlon), and start some side missions, like the Epsilon program.

I am up to the mission where you have to deliver the cars to the garage.

No Prius Needed > My citroen won't start 08/19/2015 at 14:21

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I did the "short" 2 hr endurance race with the redbull 2011 and X button was imprinted on my thumb for at least an hour after the race.

My citroen won't start > No Prius Needed 08/19/2015 at 14:24

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I did them all (the 9 and 24 with the help of a few friends). I need to use the bumper buttons (R2/L2)

TheJWT > pjhusa 08/19/2015 at 14:38

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The worst thing is that the previous two make you think that they all take like 5 minutes...

PushToStart > pjhusa 08/19/2015 at 14:45

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yeah, I think the walking in the desert mission is the second to last Epsilon mission, so there’s probably one or two more after the car delivery one before you get there, if I remember correctly.

I really liked the Epsilon stuff though, even though some of the stuff was stupidly tedious and irritating/expensive. I’ve never seen such an elaborate scheme just to make fun of Scientology.

Gonemad > CCC (formerly CyclistCarCoexist) 08/19/2015 at 14:55

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There are programable controllers (Gamegear is one). And AutoHotKey for PC. Autohotkey allows any kind of keyboard trickery, like turbo-mashing, button-hold and button-sequence-to-the-millisecond macros.

Gonemad > deekster_caddy 08/19/2015 at 14:57

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I broke 3 of those. After repair, I got rid of the game.

pjhusa > TheJWT 08/19/2015 at 15:04

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Exactly!!!

deekster_caddy > Gonemad 08/19/2015 at 15:20

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Hah, I’m just glad I found somebody else who knew what I was talking about! Yeah, we broke a couple of them as well. We did take some apart though - it was our first foray into I/O devices! They were actually very simple - a common and 5 contacts, one for each direction and one for the ‘fire’ button! The circuit board had a foil-ish pressure switch making the contact. Very simple, but it would fail with too much Decathalon!

TheJMan92 > pjhusa 08/19/2015 at 15:59

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I was hanging out with some friends when I did this one. They canceled it on me twice (double tap one of the arrows IIRC). I had to do this three. Fricken. Times.

Gonemad > deekster_caddy 08/19/2015 at 16:01

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Today I would hook it up to a Autohotkey and let’er rip. You can program any sequence of buttons to repeat itself as long you keep another button pressed, for instance.

TheJMan92 > PushToStart 08/19/2015 at 16:01

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Yea, and then my file glitched or something so I can’t continue that storyline anyway. I have to start a new game and go through that all over again, hope it doesn’t glitch this time, and then I can earn my damn trophy.

Rainbow > pjhusa 08/19/2015 at 16:16

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I’ve actually done it at least three times... It’s kind of fun. Not difficult at all, really.

pjhusa > Rainbow 08/19/2015 at 16:26

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Well, once you know what you’re going into... it probably won’t be that bad.

But when you don’t know that you’ll spend the next 30 minutes, repeatedly pressing the A button... well, it’s bad.

Especially when you’re used to 10 minute triathlons!

Nauraushaun > pjhusa 08/19/2015 at 19:46

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This shit shouldn’t be in the game. I’m all for long events, like 24 hour races in GT5. But making you tap a button like this is dumb.